You know you're in a good place when...

• You sell 4 bins of scrapbooking stuff and earn $250 in gift card credits at a scrapbook store (new stuff for new projects for another day)
• You get to hang with your best girlfriends all day Saturday when you originally thought you couldn’t  - and your husband has the kids until Sunday night so you can play.
• You get to fondle 3 MILLION sets of Stampin Up stamps and play and create while laughing with your girlfriends
• You laugh so hard you nearly wet yourself… a couple dozen times
• You sleep forever on Sunday just to catch up with the world.
• You feel good Monday morning and are ready to start the week
• You come home Tuesday night, slammed from 2 days of working motherhood
• You’re rushing around to watch your favorite show House but it’s not on because a baseball game is on – ok I’m not missing anything!
• Your husband reminds you that you’ll have a DVR next week so you can really take your time next Tuesday and not miss House
• You look around the kitchen and say – this place is a disaster and your husband agrees that he is just as overwhelmed
• Your husband says, now that you’re back to full time, why don’t you call that cleaning company that Amy recommended.
• Your husband has a meeting at 7:30pm but does the dishes and gives 1 bath before he leaves.

I've been in a good place for about three weeks now. It's been slow coming and takes lots of work staying here. What's different now? I realize that I just can't do it all and don't try to pretend to anymore. I just can't. I know that my behavior directly affects the behavior of my children and they don't like to see me miserable - just as I don't like to see them miserable.

100% of the anger is within my control. And all of that anger controls around 50% of my BP. I felt it building up today and took a Xanax. Then I went outside and walked for awhile... and walked inside for awhile. Thirty minutes later, I was a different person. Three months ago, I would hve gotten pissed and griped. Today, I take a break and think about what my brain needs from me.

I am in tune with my anger, my sleep patterns, my irritation, my eating and I'm not obssessing. I have a list (in my head that I've shared with Jay) of my no-no's. Feeling so irritated and angry this morning that I could barely stand it was a major no-no. Instead of letting it take over, I took over. I ended the day having made a big mistake on a report -- my boss gave me the wrong info. And I laughed about it all the way home to the glass of wine I enjoyed with my feet up. I'll fix it tomorrow. No one will die if it's wrong tonight.

I've found my trigger -- the anger -- and it's all I watch for now. If I'm not sleeping I talk it over with Jay. Monique tells me there WILL be a relapse because BP is a chemical imbalance.... I know that but I don't want to worry about that right now. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Comments

[Sharla]

Anger is my issue too. If I get rid of that- it's like all is normal.

[Ol Lady]

Hey sounds like your on the right road now :) awesome!!!!